Resources Family Life

Eight Steps For Engaged Couples

Congratulations on your engagement! Preparing for the Sacrament of Matrimony is an exciting time. Each parish may have guidelines to prepare a couple for marriage, but we offer these best practices as a guide:

1. Meet with your parish priest, deacon, or marriage coordinator – Soon after you become engaged contact your parish to make an appointment. If you are not currently attending a parish, you could try contacting a parish nearby or one recommended by a friend. If you are getting married in a church outside of the archdiocese, first contact that parish to determine whether it would be better for you to prepare for marriage locally or from a distance. At your first meeting, you will often fill out preliminary paperwork, discuss what documents are needed, and learn what comes next.
2. Take a pre-marital inventory (PMI) – A pre-marital inventory is usually a digital questionnaire that each of you complete separately. The questions cover a variety of topics including communication, lifestyle expectations, finances, parenting, religion, etc. The report is a great tool to explore your strengths as a couple and those areas that may require further attention. This resource is meant to be a discussion starter and is usually facilitated by the priest/deacon/mentor couple. Ask if the parish has a trained facilitator and if this service is not provided, you can access a free survey from Dynamic Catholic’s Better Together Inventory.
3. Meet with a mentor couple at your parish and/or collaborative – Parishes often have married couples that mentor the newly engaged. The mentor couple can connect you to the local community, share their experience, and pray for you as you journey into married life. If there is no formal mentor program, ask the priest to suggest a married couple to connect with.
4. Sign up and attend Transformed in Love – Transformed in Love is the marriage preparation program of the Archdiocese of Boston. During the workshop, you and your future spouse will hear from different couples on marriage related topics. See the marriage prep page for a list of locations and dates.
5. Learn more about the fertility awareness and the methods of natural family planning – Understanding fertility awareness and the natural methods available to achieve and postpone pregnancy for just reasons can be overwhelming if you do not have the correct information necessary to make an informed choice. Although there is an introductory talk in Transformed in Love, we suggest you consider taking a course online or talk with a local instructor to learn more. Follow this link for Love’s Perfect Design: A Guide to Understanding Fertility Awareness. To connect with an NFP instructor, click here.
6. Go to Confession – The Sacrament of Reconciliation, otherwise known as Confession, is a sacrament of love and healing. For more information about this powerful and necessary sacrament, click here.
7. Meet with the priest, deacon, or parish marriage coordinator again – Follow up meetings are an opportunity to get to know the priest or deacon who is officiating at your wedding and a good time to discuss concerns, get the paperwork in order, plan your wedding liturgy, and ask any questions.
8. Pray, breathe, and enjoy the journey – This should be a wonderful experience for you both. Don’t let the details overwhelm you. Remember, the wedding is one day, your marriage lasts a lifetime.

Marriage Enrichment + Support

Taking the time to invest in your marriage is extremely important. The health of your relationship impacts your happiness and the well-being of any children. Whether things are going well and you’re just looking for an enriching experience or if you’re having difficulties and are looking for help, we hope you find something here that may be of assistance to you.

Love in a Lockdown: Communication and Conflict Resolution

Clinical psychologist Dr. Greg Kolodziejczak spoke to our guests during National Marriage Week, offering practical tools to improve a couple’s communication and conflict resolution skills. To view the seminar, click here.

De Matrimonio Civil a Matrimonio Sacramental

To learn more about moving from civil marriage to a sacramental marriage through the process of convalidation watch this video.

Support for Grieving Parents

Emmaus Ministry for Grieving Parents is a beautiful ministry based out of Boston that helps grieving parents who have lost a child of any age, by any cause, and no matter how long ago. Visit here for more information on their support retreats, reflections, resources for parishes, and more.

Resources

Below are several resources to support couples and families:

• ForYourMarriage.org
• Por Tu Matrimonio
• Worldwide Marriage Encounter
• Messy Family Project
• Be Light Date Night Series
• Raising 8 Podcast

For Couples Having Difficulty

• Support for Troubled Marriages
• Overcoming Adversity
• Retrouvaille Weekend Program
  • Upcoming MA-based weekend for couples struggling in their marriages hosted by couples who saved theirs: March 10-12, 2023. For more info on this retreat, email here or call 508-271-7155.

For a list of Christian/Catholic counselors and resources in or near the Boston area, please reach out here.

The 2022 Annual Wedding Anniversary Mass was held on Sunday, November 6th. Cardinal Seán O’Malley, O.F.M. Cap. presided over the Mass for couples celebrating their 10^th, 25^th, and 50^th wedding anniversaries. The Mass included a wedding vow renewal and a special blessing by the Cardinal. The 2023 date is yet TBD. If you need more information in the interim, contact Emily Elliott.

To view pictures from the 2022 celebration, visit here.

2019 Wedding Anniversary Mass Video

Divorced + Separated Catholics

Support Group

A support group meets weekly during the evening at St. Augustine Parish in North Andover. For more information, visit here or email Klara Vajda.

For more information on programs, support groups, and additional resources, please access this PDF.

A list of local and telehealth Catholic/Christian psychologists and counselors is available by contacting a member of the Family Life team.

Webinar – After Divorce: Healing From The Inside Out

A virtual seminar for the Archdiocese of Boston featuring Catholic author and presenter, Rose Sweet. We invite you to view the program here, for encouragement, guidance and practical support.

For information related to annulments, contact the Tribunal here.

Natural Family Planning

NFP is an umbrella term for natural methods used to achieve or avoid pregnancy that protect God’s plan for spousal love. These methods are based on the observation and interpretation of the naturally occurring biological markers of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle. NFP is applicable to all women, can be used at any stage of a woman’s reproductive life, and not our “Grandparents’ Rhythm Method.”

Marriage Prep
If the priest or deacon preparing you for marriage requests that you receive an introduction to NFP, the archdiocesan program Transformed in Love is a great place to begin.

For dates and locations of Transformed in Love, please click here.

NFP and Infertility: Finding Fruitfulness in the Desert 

In this virtual workshop, Springs in the Desert, a Catholic infertility ministry that accompanies those carrying this cross, discusses the experience of infertility and acknowledges the unique grief and isolation it brings. They offer encouragement and strategies to help couples strengthen their identities in Christ and discover God’s unique plan for fruitfulness within their marriages. Watch the recording here.

More NFP Webinars –

• Method Match: How to Choose a Natural Fertility Awareness Method That Works for You! 
  Two local certified NFP instructors, Christina Valenzuela and Mikayla Dalton, were joined by Dr. Patricia Jay, GYN in an interactive webinar to help couples navigate the crowded field of fertility awareness methods, apps, and tools. Whether you are new to NFP or looking to make a method switch, this webinar is a helpful tool. Watch the recording here.
• All Things NFP Q & A Webinar. Six Natural Family Planning experts in their fields answered participants questions ranging from methods, reproductive disorders, effectiveness, conceiving, and moral dilemmas, etc. To watch the recording, click here.
• NFP – What Is It and Why Does the Church Support It? Click here to view this recording for our Spanish speaking audience featuring Dr. Pilar Calva, Dr. Francisco Vargas, and NFP Instructor, Alicia Javier.

Why Use Natural Family Planning?

Consider NFP because it utilizes the natural methods that respect God’s plan for both the unitive and procreative; it is a completely healthy way to plan a family because no chemical or physical barriers are used; the modern methods of NFP are evidenced based, boasting a correct use efficacy rate from 97-99.6% that competes with artificial means; and it is holistic. Fertility awareness through the lens of NFP respects the WHOLE person –  physical, mental, spiritual, and intellectual. It fosters intimacy between a husband and wife because it invites a husband to be an active, caring, and knowledgeable participant in a couple’s intimate reality, their fertility. To learn more, read our brief booklet – Love’s Perfect Design: A Guide to Understanding Fertility Awareness. English | Español .

Where Should Someone Go for Help with Reproductive Health Concerns or Infertility?

If you are suffering from a reproductive health issue the science of NaPro Technology may help. This is an effective and alternate approach versus the traditional practice of using artificial hormones or IVF.

NaPro Technology (Natural Procreative Technology) networks NFP with the treatment of reproductive disorders and infertility. NaPro Technology is a new reproductive science that cooperates with the reproductive systems in producing a treatment that corrects the condition, and sustains the procreative potential. It respects the dignity of women, the integrity of marriage, and the conjugal act.

NaPro Technology was developed at the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction. It is delivered through the services of trained medical doctors and Creighton/Fertility Care NFP teachers. For more information, on NaProTechnology visit www.popepaulvi.com or contact a Creighton/Fertility Care NFP teacher on the NFP Instruction List above.

One day soon, we pray there will be more health care providers that offer these services. Until then, many in the New England area suggest visiting:

• Women’s Wellness & Fertility Center in Manchester, NH for NaproTechnology, Infertility, Obstetrics, and Gynecology:
  88 McGregor Street, Suite 201
  Manchester NH 03102  603.314.7595
• For a holistic approach to couples suffering with infertility and a free fertility health assessment, visit Organic Conceptions.
• Springs in the Desert accompanies those struggling with infertility by offering a place of respite and solidarity where they can know God’s love for them and discover His unique call to fruitfulness.
• Springs of Love  is on a mission to encourage, educate, and equip families to discern and live out the call to foster and adopt.
• If you have lost a child for any reason or at any stage of life, please accept our deepest condolences. Consider redbird.love or Emmaus Ministries for support.

Virtual Rosary for Couples Struggling with Infertility, Difficult Pregnancies, or Infant Loss.
On the feasts of Sts. Anne and Joachim, parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Fr. Ed Riley reflected on the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary. Together we meditated on these mysteries while praying for our brothers and sisters in Christ who struggle with infertility, difficult pregnancies, or the loss of a child. Watch the recording here.

For a list of resources and information for Ministry with Persons with Disabilities, click here.

Transformed in Love Ministry Formation

Transformed in Love is the marriage preparation resource developed by a dedicated group of married couples, theologians, psychologists, canon lawyers, priests, deacons, and staff under the direction of Cardinal Seán O’Malley.

This instrument of evangelization thoughtfully combines the practical with the theological through the implementation of hands-on activities, personal witness, and spiritual reflection. It is best utilized as one piece of a catechumenate model to marriage ministry.

If you are a married couple, deacon, or priest being called to serve in this special ministry, we encourage you to learn more through the workshop.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the 12/3/22 workshop will need to be rescheduled. Check back for the new date and time. 

Until our next workshop, you can learn more about Transformed in Love on our diocesan/parish leader page.

For more information on formation for Transformados en el Amor, contact Liz Cotrupi or Sr. Elsa Narvaez Rodriguez for assistance in Español.

Visit our shop for Transformed in Love resources in English and Spanish. Please note that there is special pricing available for parishes and retreat centers of the Boston Archdiocese. If you have questions about the materials or program, please call Liz Cotrupi @ 617-746-5801.